Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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