In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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