Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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