i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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