I cockslap morals
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
When are your genitals available?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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