I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
