I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
