Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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