Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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