when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize