No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
