Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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