Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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