This girl is more easily done than said...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
