I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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