Kiss
Puke
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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