Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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