Christians are straight up FREAKS
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
