I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
