I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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