Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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