I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We got so high we made milksteak
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
