wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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