We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
