6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
YAS. BRING CRAB.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
