it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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