Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
