Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
