you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
