the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
