Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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