I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize
