It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
