My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
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Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
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Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize