And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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