how hairy? two words: wookie tits
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
