you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
