I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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