honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
