i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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