Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
