To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
