So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
