Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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