Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?

Fav 36 801 2015
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"

Fav 14 5160 961
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(913): View more from Kansas

I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."

Fav 11 6629 1422
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(518): View more from New York

one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what

Fav 7 2278 1147
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(678): View more from Georgia

All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.

Fav 6 1538 1241
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(515): View more from Iowa

Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.

Fav 7 1152 760
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(210): View more from Texas

my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...

Fav 5 1412 704
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(224): View more from Illinois

My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"

Fav 0 632 553
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(203): View more from Connecticut

How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up

Fav 0 22 20
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