I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
