Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
