Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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