CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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