the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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