Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
