Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
