roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
