he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Randomize
