It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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