Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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