I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
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