Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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