i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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